By Katherine Rodriguez (UC Berkeley)

Studying abroad has been the greatest gift I could give myself. I’ve seen world wonders with international students, solidified my passion to teach English abroad, and fully immersed myself in beautiful Brazilian Portuguese while walking the samba-filled streets of Rio de Janeiro. For the first time, I started life over in a new language, 5,000 miles away from home.

Colorful parade float for Carnival in Rio

For the first half of my semester abroad in Rio de Janeiro, I found my heart and internal clock still in California. After a full day of classes, I would check my phone to see a ‘good morning’ text from my partner. As I was tucked and ready for bed, I would finally get Instagram notifications from memes I had sent hours before.

All the people who once filled my every moment in California were now only available at my bedtime.

Brazilian beach at sunset with people

I’m the only child of divorced Colombian emigrants. Some could say that my moving to Brazil meant that the only family left of what my parents created in SoCal flew far away. My dramatic guilt and anxieties soon spiraled if someone did not text me back before bedtime. What if something terrible happened? Will they still be there when I return home?

Despite the five-hour time difference, I spent many late nights lying awake in the hopes of receiving a text back to reassure me.

Create new communication routines that work

These habits were not sustainable, given my 18-unit course load, and the sleep deprivation was driving me insane. I knew I had to find a healthier way. Thankfully, the program includes student insurance and 12 free therapy sessions through Lyra.

During our first session, my Brazilian therapist—who incidentally spent six years living abroad herself—said, “Studying abroad is like living in a multiverse. You’re in a different reality. You may even feel like you’re not alive. You know your family and friends are out there somewhere, but you can’t hear or see them.”

My therapist had three suggestions that changed everything for me:

  1. A conversation curfew – Tell your loved ones that they can only reach you until a few hours before you want to be asleep. After that cutoff, all other notifications will be silenced except calls for emergencies only!
  2. Transition out of the day – Do not look at social media/screens an hour or two before bed. Take a nice shower. Smell lavender oil to calm your central nervous system.
  3. Practice mindfulness exercises – Try mindfulness exercises before bed or when experiencing racing thoughts. They can take as little as 5 minutes.

Katherine (UCB) on the streets of Rio smiling and happy

Set expectations before you go

Here’s what I should have done before I left California so you can have a better experience:

  1. Create a simple, shared digital calendar with everyone and fill it in with your class and trip schedule.
  2. Use a time zone converter to find overlapping ‘awake hours.’
  3. Define what constitutes an emergency and establish how we could reach each other in an urgent situation.
  4. Determine which apps you’ll use and make sure everyone has them installed and knows how to use them.
  5. Mark special dates, like birthdays or holidays, on a shared calendar so you don’t feel left out or out of touch with what’s happening at home.

Pro tip: Use this list when talking with family and friends about what defines an emergency.

UCB student on a hike in Brazil smiling above green landscape

Schedule regular catch-ups

To ensure that you will hear from and talk with a loved one, schedule a time to catch up! My dad and I are on each other’s calendars the last Sunday of each month. This way, there’s less pressure on a daily basis since we always have that call to look forward to.

Not only was trying to live in multiple time zones unhealthy for my mind and body, but it was also taking me away from the once-in-a-lifetime experience I was having!

For someone you want to hear from more frequently, like a partner, I also learned to love sending and receiving voice messages and even videos as it made me feel much more connected to the person I was missing.

Pro tip: When you talk with your closest people about how to stay in touch, you may be surprised to find that they are worried about bothering you too much while you’re abroad.

Remember that your experience matters and it’s uniquely yours. Some days you’ll want to share every detail and others you’ll be too busy living in the moment—and both are perfectly okay.

UC Berkeley student on top of hill overlooking Rio de Janeiro

With a month left in Brazil, I’m on the ongoing journey toward accepting the things I cannot control, staying in the moment, and prioritizing good sleep habits. For now, I will light my lavender candle and put my phone on DND. Sweet dreams, travelers!

Discover more resources to help you navigate the emotional aspects of studying abroad, from maintaining mental wellness to strengthening family connections: