By Harper Parsley (UC Irvine) studied abroad in London and Paris

My biggest struggle in school has always been mental health. Even while studying engaging topics that I found interesting, I would be overwhelmed by deadlines.

If you’re attending a four-year university away from childhood friends and family, you may understand the feeling of anxiety all too well. Nothing will ever be as hard as saying goodbye to your childhood bedroom and your mother’s all-seeing eyes—I might be projecting a little here, but stay with me—and yet, against all odds, you managed to survive and even thrive all while making it to most of your classes.

I’ve always been what my future professional self would deem ambitious or future-driven, but my therapist calls it anxious.

Now, I’m not going to tell you that doing the hardest thing in the world, but this time in your dream destination city will cure you of anxiety, but for me, in many ways it did!

Let me share with you not only the best memories but also the most important takeaways from three months of living in Europe, and, hopefully, I’ll inspire you to take a similar leap of faith.

Lesson one: People will like you

I had always dreamed of going to Paris, and before you ask, yes, I was one of those with a French-themed bedroom. As an ambitious person, I knew I would do anything in my power to get there, and the perfect opportunity for me was studying abroad.

I found an amazing program that aligned with my major requirements and would allow me to study in both London and Paris. Perfect, sign me up.

About a month before my departure, my old friend anxiety showed up with nagging ideas like: “What if no one likes me? What if I want to come home?” What if. What if.

Here’s what I learned—we all think that way before studying abroad! Everyone who takes this leap is experiencing the same thing and that’s what brings us together. Each of us had the same ide and the same shared interest in this specific program, this place, this time. That’s one thing in common for a conversation starter.

As a matter of fact, people did like me! I made some of the best friends I’ve ever met. We discussed shared love of European cities, languages, and cultures and our differences only brought us closer.

Pro tip: Share your true authentic self because honesty bonds us.

I learned how to make friends fast and we did everything together. We went to class, studied, traveled and explored other cities together as if we’d known each other our whole lives. It was the best part of studying abroad and to this day, when I look back at the photos, I see the smiling faces of people I still miss, not the famous artwork in the background.

Lesson two: Say Yes to Unplanned Experiences

Speaking of traveling together, one of the weekend getaways we had was to Edinburgh, Scotland. This picture was taken on top of Arthur’s Seat, a popular day hike.

We had done little to no research before arriving in Scotland, so we took this hike in tennis shoes and jeans. We debated back and forth before taking the hike, and I can’t imagine my life without this moment. I felt like I was on top of the world, and it’s one of the happiest moments of my life. I learned that moments like these are never worth an excuse.

I take this energy with me everywhere now. Who cares if it wasn’t anticipated or planned; what if you’re missing out on one of the best experiences of your life?

Lesson three: It’s OK to feel lonely and anxious sometimes

The hardest part of my time abroad was celebrating my birthday without my parents or my childhood friends. I had to stand back and look at the bigger picture. I was in Paris!

I had been dreaming of this since I was seven, and there would be so many more birthdays with my friends in California. I get to say that I blew out my 20th birthday candles under the Eiffel Tower.

Eventually, I did get hit with a big dose of homesickness. My friends and I had been go-go-go: Scotland, Spain, France, and let me tell you, it’s so easy to go off the grid and dive into the Mediterranean while forgetting about your life at home.

But your life hasn’t forgotten you. Call your family and listen to what’s going on back home. This can help you stay in the moment and give you balance when you return.

Lesson four: Change can heal anxiety

I learned so much while living in Paris – the culture was so different.

While I was abroad, my mom came to visit, and I noticed her anxiously tapping her foot while waiting for the check at a restaurant.

I asked, “Are you in a hurry?” while sipping a cappuccino in the late afternoon.

She hastily responded, “No, why?” and that was when it hit me.

I had been so conditioned as an American to the hustle attitude that I never enjoyed the now, and this is what I mean when I say Europe cured me.

I still have anxiety, but why are we ignoring our beautiful lives to get to a future we know nothing about? The whole time I was in Europe, I was savoring every second. I didn’t want to blink in fear that I might miss a moment.

Lesson five: Learning is everywhere

My last piece of advice to convince you to run away and study abroad is this: you have to do school anyway, so why not do that somewhere else with a brand new group of friends you’ve never met before? You’ll still study, take tests, and turn in assignments, but why not do that in Australia, Japan, or (in my case) Europe?

As an international studies major, I’ve learned more about the world from these twelve weeks than anything I studied in class back home. I learned about different cultures through my classes and the people I met abroad, and they taught me about myself without even trying.

I started this journey never having seen the world. I didn’t even have a passport until I planned to study abroad. You can too!

Learn more about how to maintain your mental health throughout the transformative experience that is studying abroad:

• Discover how learning to be resilient before you study abroad will help your experience – and why it matters!
• Learn the strategies Jenny Lopez (UCLA) recommends to take care of your mental health and maintain balance while on study abroad.

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Harper Parsley

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